Saturday, March 01, 2008

What Your Sleeping Positions Tell You About Your Relationship

There are different ways to determine if a relationship is growing stronger or if it is on the verge of collapsing. Interaction between couples (marriage or dating) is considered as the most distinguishable factor; may it be the solidity of communication or the intensity of passion as seen with the couple's body language. But unknown to many, there is a more interesting way to determine the state of a relationship, and it is visible when lovebirds position themselves in bed to sleep.

The way couples sleep together can unconsciously reveal how strongly they feel for each other. Just as sleep restores used powers in ones body, sleeping together will also revitalize the relationship. Although there are some factors that may disturb the calmness of this method, such as the snoring or teeth grinding etc., at least the issue of faking out can never be a part of it - since there is no way you can deliberately mislead someone when you're completely asleep.

Now, let us familiarize some common sleeping positions of couples and try to know how it reflects the condition of the relationship. But before reading the following, take note that if you and your partner do not sleep as intimately as the positions presented below, it doesn't mean that your relationship is in trouble. Please be aware that there are no "right" or "wrong" positions in sleeping together.

"The Spoon" - This is the position where you sleep on your side while your partner is closely lying from behind with one arm wrapped around you. Either of you may be doing the embrace but it is usually done by the man. This is considered as the most common position adopted by couples during the first few years of marriage. The close clinging may signify security and it is also erotic in some way as the genital is pressing against the buttocks. It is also believed to increase intimacy and lower stress.

"Loosely Tight" - A variation of 'the spoon' where the bodies are positioned in the same manner. The only difference is that there is a little gap between your body and that of your partner. This is commonly seen in couples who have been together for 5-6 years. An important thing to remember about this position is that the gap between your bodies will be compensated with contacts from the hand, knee, or foot; giving an assurance that security is still there.

"The Honeymoon Hug" - The name speaks for itself, this position is seen among newly weds; where partners are facing each other doing a full body hug. Every part is in contact with each other from the cheeks way down to the feet. Extreme closeness is obviously seen in this position. Bodies are tightly tangled like unconsciously wanting to fuse as one, signifying total commitment to each other. Uncomfortable as it may seem, this position is done by newly united couples after lovemaking. Some lovers may return to this tight body tangle over the years and it is a notion that, whoever initiates it, could mean that he/she is immensely dependent on the other.

"The Royal Hug" - A position where the male partner lies on his back face up, suggesting superiority. And the woman's head resting on his shoulders, implying submissiveness and dependency over her lover. This body arrangement also signifies a strong assurance over the truthfulness of their commitment to each other. There is a variation of this position where in the woman's head is rested on the man's chest; and is usually seen in older men with younger women.

"Zen Style" - This position is commonly seen on couples whose relationship are already fully established. It is where partners lie back to back with only the buttocks touching. Lying on opposite direction may indicate a regard for independence, but with bottoms still in contact, this means both are still strongly bonded sexually and sensually.


"The Leg Hug" - Usually seen on couples who are just over a fight. It is where both go with their preferred positions but the contact is still there with either of the lovers' foot on top of the other hooking a part of their legs together. Although there is an obvious withholding of emotions, because of an argument awhile back, the hooked legs signify a positive sign. It's a subconscious way of assuring that everything's all right and that both of them still care about each other despite of what had happened.

"The Cliff-hanger" - This is a position where a huge gap is present between the bodies of the couple. One sleeps on the left edge of the bed and the other sleeps on the right edge; both facing on opposite directions with no single contact from any parts of their bodies. There is a mixture of both negative and positive vibe on this kind of body arrangement. It may indicate the presence of great tension on the relationship and perhaps be a subconscious way of showing that both are drifting away from each other. However, this may also be just the couple's practical way of getting the best out of the space that they have on the bed; it's like they just want to let each other have a good night sleep without minding the distance of their bodies.

Every single one of us has our own position preferences to get a good night sleep. That goes the same with couples sleeping together. If your girlfriend sleeps with a pillow on top of her face or your husband sleeps on his stomach all night, it doesn't matter as long as you both are comfortable with it.


When in a situation where both you and your partner don't agree with each other's way of sleeping, find a way to consider. For example, if you think your partner is a bed hog or is maybe moving too much, get twin beds. In that way you both will have your own spaces and still sleep together. So there you go, try to experiment and find a way to compromise. It is always the best method to bring two different minds together and make ends meet.

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